books i love
Reading and listening to music have always been a huge part of my life. Words that flow together create a feeling deep inside that just motivates me. Although a picture is worth a thousand words, sometimes my creative brain wants to paint a setting or background the way I want to see it in my mind's eye. I just want to read it, or hear it, or experience it to make it my own.
Words can transport me to a time and a place and an emotion. That is why when I am in the Keys, I read Hemingway. When headed to the Beacon Theater to see the Allman Brothers, I read My Cross to Bear or One Way Out. When traveling to Charleston, a Pat Conroy novel is the best to set the backdrop for the low country. Sometimes I think we teach the "classics" at too young an age- so I am re-reading my high school book list right now.
More and more things that are becoming classics as I become a classic myself. A real book in my hand, flipping through and smelling the pages, turning down the corners and highlighting the stuff that moves me is priceless. When do I find the time to read? Oh darling, we always make time for things we really want to do (not a bad thing to remember when dating either;)
Men Don't love women like you
I love this "in your face" book about being a SPARTAN. The audiobook is the way to go because the frank and flat delivery helps to soften the emotional subject matter, and it REALLY does need some cushioning. I was not certain what this book was going to teach me, but I was ready to understand all the things I must be doing wrong in the dating world. You know, love yourself, focus on you...same book- different title.
You know the book. The one where you find yourself defensive thinking. "Come on, I am the cool mom! I have the great job! I still go to festivals in New Orleans and often find myself in a parade!" What is it about my awesome self that I am clearly not conveying on my dates or in my profile?
Guess what, this is a totally different book. I'm not doing things wrong, I'm just not doing the right things, yet. This is not a "poor me" book, rather a get-your-shit-together and be the great person you are. Don't be a hamburger....men expect that on a menu. Be a SPARTAN, the best catch because you deserve it!
The more I listened, the more I felt the, "hell yeah?" in me coming to the surface. As rude as it sounds the first time around, the guy is right, all pussys feel good. Yours is not special. "Men date from a sea of women, he does not want to network with you, he wants to fu@* you.
How are you going to set yourself apart? Only players and users care about the material things that you have, so stop trying to impress people. My recommendation is to listen fully the first time. The second time, write down things that resonate- I filled a page. Basically stop giving a shit and be a bitch- you are worth it- and they will know it.
THe relationship INVESTIGATOR'S fast guide to successful dating
Elizabeth Overstreet's newest book offers 5 rules to find the right "one" and make it work. They are: love yourself, be realistic, stop being so picky, remember you are part of a team, and find good relationships to model.
This topic really hits home with me because it has a focus with which I am familiar, (and, unfortunately, still an expert): DATING. When first thrown back into the single life, you can often feel afraid and almost desperate. Dating feels as awkward as it did in highschool when you just hoped you weren't the last one asked to the dance. But if you value yourself, the law of attraction kicks in. People will feel your energy and be attracted toward you. Heavily quoting Dr. Phil McGraw, Overstreet shows that these ideas are not new, but they also have not been mastered. In fact, she also gives her comments on many of the most popular dating books like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (1992). Yes! 1992! McGraw's book is from 2001 and Steve Harvey has a relationship book from 2009. Year after year, divorce after divorce, people need the same advice. We are human afterall.
In her practice, Elizabeth works with men/women trying to get back into the dating scene. She is trying to get people to think differently about relationships. The most significant relationship you have in your life is with yourself. Without striving for self-love, you can become your own worst enemy. Everything outside of yourself is an outlier. "If you don't develop self-love and work on self-improvement first, your shortcomings and feelings of inadequacy will manifest negatively in your relationship," the author emailed me. A lack of self love can manifest negatively in relationships and how we all tend to see it as a problem with the other person, when in actuality, it is probably a problem with ourselves.
So go on now...read this quick guide! Available on Kindle or Paperback.
The Pie Life
Samantha Ettus writes about a guilt-free recipe for success and satisfaction. It is not about hot fruit in a crust, it is about a venn diagram of life and how to serve it up. FULL REVIEW TO BE POSTED NEXT WEEK
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my mentor speaks
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his original book....outdated but shows his social media crystal ball